Writer Tips: Pain

Q: How would you describe in dialogue, someone talking while they'er in pain. Like, "My phone... arg... It's.. uh.. In my back.. pocket..." Or would you do it in dialogue tags. "My phone--" He gritted his teeth, his voice breaking as he groaned in pain. "It's.. uh.. in my back... pocket..."

Pain happens in novels. People get shot. People break things like bones, people get cut. There is also emotional pain. Pain of loss, pain of betrayal. Lots of pain.  So you might be surprised when you go looking for tips on conveying pain and find very little out there, or in books about fiction writing. There is a good reason for this.

Too Much Dialog?

"Too much dialog?"

"What?"

"She asked if there's a thing with too much dialog."

"Too much dialog? What's that? You mean like no description at all?"

"She didn't say that..."

"How can you write a story with no description?"

"She didn't say there wouldn't be any description. She just asked if there was a limit for how much dialog ...."

"How are  you going to know if it's raining or not?"

"That you could take care of  with dialog, no biggie, and if you didn't mention it then it probably isn't an issue."

"Like implied facts. If I walk from the front door to the the kitchen to get a beer, and I don't mention that a white ape flying a small plane crashed into the house, it probably didn't happen."

"Exactly."

"How you going to know if I'm at a door though? Do I have to mention everything I do?"

"You're back on the description thing again, and she didn't say anything about that."

"Well -- it's important."

"Right -- I'm getting the message. So, you agree that there is probably a limit."

"I would think so, yes"

"Since all things have a limit, I'll agree."

"We could figure out a percentage or a ratio, maybe."

"You got a D in math."

"Oh, right. Want a beer?"

"No, you already drank five for me. I think I'm good."

"Fine, I'll just get one for myself then."

"Watch out for white apes."

Something I would argue however is that the other side of that equation doesn't work out. I've read a few attempts at stories, even short stories, going for the "no dialog" goal, and imo each failed as a 'story'. To Build a Fire (London)i is the closest I've encountered, but even Jack breaks down and has the man talk to his dog. Without exchange of some kind involving the MC is nigh impossible to make a connection with the MC and therefore the story.

Sobering up Your Muse

Ever notice that being a writer is hell some days? Of course there is the daily doubt contest between your imagination, your internal critic, the internal editor and that bastard up in the seats. You get use to that -- learn to tune them out. But, then there are those special moments when you've been pushing a two ton rock up hill -- only to find that it is the wrong hill, and that's not the right rock.

This Feels All Too Familier

“It comes from a very ancient democracy, you see..."

"You mean, it comes from a world of lizards?"

"No," said Ford, who by this time was a little more rational and coherent than he had been, having finally had the coffee forced down him, "nothing so simple. Nothing anything like so straightforward. On its world, the people are people. The leaders are lizards. The people hate the lizards and the lizards rule the people."

"Odd," said Arthur, "I thought you said it was a democracy."

"I did," said Ford. "It is."

"So," said Arthur, hoping he wasn't sounding ridiculously obtuse, "why don't people get rid of the lizards?"

"It honestly doesn't occur to them," said Ford. "They've all got the vote, so they all pretty much assume that the government they've voted in more or less approximates to the government they want."

"You mean they actually vote for the lizards?"

"Oh yes," said Ford with a shrug, "of course."

"But," said Arthur, going for the big one again, "why?"

"Because if they didn't vote for a lizard," said Ford, "the wrong lizard might get in. Got any gin?"

"What?"

"I said," said Ford, with an increasing air of urgency creeping into his voice, "have you got any gin?"

"I'll look. Tell me about the lizards."

Ford shrugged again. "Some people say that the lizards are the best thing that ever happenned to them," he said. "They're completely wrong of course, completely and utterly wrong, but someone's got to say it."

"But that's terrible," said Arthur.

"Listen, bud," said Ford, "if I had one Altairian dollar for every time I heard one bit of the Universe look at another bit of the Universe and say 'That's terrible' I wouldn't be sitting here like a lemon looking for a gin.”


― Douglas Adams, So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish

EZ-USA® of Rand Paul and The Mystery of the Suddenly Gone EZTax RandPlan

OH Shit! and other things you 
shouldn't say
when you run for President

Not liking what you see with Rand Paul's

what it takes to run a country? 
You are not alone. 

Rand Paul doesn't like them either. 

The US Senator who has been spouting his opinion about everything under the sun -- 98% of the time simply because he Hates Obama, suddenly realized that his crap is just that, Crap. 

As a Senator with no real say, his crap had the same level of importance as if I were to spout off about my Tax Plan and publish it on this little blog. But when you step up on the platform and say "I'm Running for President" things change. Apparently Rand Paul didn't grasp Reality until last night -- when several pages on his website suddenly went missing.

Don't worry though Rand, I got your back. I Found all those pages for you, and many more.from previous posts over the last couple of years. So if those deletions were caused by a hacker event... just say the word and I'll deliver copies to you.

A curiosity at this point is -- how long before he realizes that he has been Pro-ISIS for more than a year now...(?)

Pixar has skilz - and Here they are

Love Pixar and these tips have been around for a few years now, originally Tweeted in '12 by Emma. I happened on them again today and find them just as valuable now as they were the first time I read them through. -- Keep in mind though - These are not Gospel, nor were they meant to be. Laying them out on your desk and checking them off is not their purpose, nor how Pixar views them. They are tips from collective experience, and you should find plenty of room to add to the list from your own experience.

Think you are right? You're sure about that?

We want to believe that our ideology and our political decisions, as well as our religious feeling are based on good reasoning, logical thinking and possess a sound factual foundation. The problem is we think too much. Or rather... we don't.

Most of our decisions -- nearly 70% -- are based on nothing more than the bio/chemical makeup of our minds -- no more based on evidence or facts than the migration of birds or the bowel movements of monkeys.