Here are some tips for writing strong, compelling characters and relationships in your writing:
One of the biggest challenges of being in a relationship with a narcissist is that they are often unable to see things from your perspective. They may be quick to blame you for their problems and refuse to take responsibility for their own actions. This can make it difficult to communicate effectively and resolve conflict.
Narcissists may also be very jealous and possessive. They may try to control your social life and isolate you from your friends and family. This can make you feel trapped and alone.
Over time, being in a relationship with a narcissist can take a toll on your self-esteem and mental health. You may start to feel worthless and inadequate. You may also experience anxiety, depression, and stress.
The impact of narcissism on relationships
Narcissism can have a devastating impact on relationships. Here are some specific ways:
- Narcissists are emotionally unavailable. They are unable to provide their partners with the emotional support and intimacy that they need.
- Narcissists are more interested in receiving admiration than in giving love.
- They may be very charming and attentive at first, but once they feel secure in the relationship, they may become cold and distant.
- Narcissists are controlling and manipulative. They try to control their partners' thoughts, feelings, and behavior. Narcissists may use a variety of tactics to control their partners, including guilt-tripping, gaslighting, and intimidation. They may also try to isolate their partners from their friends and family.
- Narcissists are jealous and possessive. They may feel threatened by their partners' accomplishments or relationships with others. Narcissists may try to control their partners' social life and limit their contact with other people.
- Narcissists are verbally and emotionally abusive. They may make their partners feel worthless, inadequate, and crazy. Narcissists may also use physical violence to control and intimidate their partners.
How to cope with a narcissistic partner
- Educate yourself about narcissism. The more you know about narcissism, the better equipped you will be to deal with your partner's behavior.
- Set clear boundaries. Let your partner know what you are and are not willing to accept. Be firm in your boundaries and do not let your partner guilt-trip you into compromising them.
- Don't take it personally. Narcissists are not capable of loving others in the same way that healthy people do. If your partner is critical or abusive, remember that it is not about you. It is about their own insecurities and need for control.
- Seek support from others. Talk to your friends and family about what you are going through. You may also want to consider joining a support group for people in relationships with narcissists.
- Consider professional help. A therapist can provide you with support and guidance on how to deal with a narcissistic partner. They can also help you to develop coping strategies and to build your self-esteem.
If you are in a relationship with a narcissist, please reach out for help. You deserve to be treated with respect and love.
Additional tips for coping with a narcissistic partner
- Take care of yourself. Make sure you are getting enough sleep, eating healthy foods, and exercising regularly. Taking care of your physical and mental health will help you to better cope with your partner's behavior.
- Avoid trying to change your partner. Narcissists are typically not willing or able to change their behavior. Trying to change your partner will only lead to frustration and disappointment.
- Be prepared for the possibility that the relationship may not be sustainable. If your partner is unwilling to work on improving the relationship, it may be necessary to end it. This can be a difficult decision, but it may be the best thing for your mental and emotional well-being.
- If you are considering leaving a relationship with a narcissist, it is important to have a safety plan in place. Narcissists can be unpredictable and dangerous, so it is important to take steps to protect yourself. You may want to talk to a lawyer or a domestic violence hotline to develop a safety plan.
Domestic Violence Safety Plan for Leaving a Relationship with a Volatile Narcissist
Before You Leave
- Gather important documents. This includes things like your passport, driver's license, Social Security card, birth certificate, bank statements, and credit cards. Make copies of all of these documents and keep them in a safe place.
- Have a financial plan. If possible, try to save up some money before you leave. This will give you a financial cushion to fall back on in case you need it.
- Tell someone you trust. Let a friend, family member, or therapist know that you are planning to leave your relationship. They can offer support and help you develop your safety plan.
When You Leave
- Leave when your partner is not home. If possible, try to leave when your partner is at work, school, or out with friends. This will reduce the risk of them confronting you or trying to stop you from leaving.
- Change your locks. Once you have left, change the locks on your doors and windows. You may also want to consider installing a security system.
- Cut off contact. It is important to cut off all contact with your partner after you leave. This means blocking their number, deleting them from social media, and avoiding places where you know they might be.
Additional Safety Tips
- Be aware of your surroundings. Pay attention to who is around you and where you are going. Avoid walking alone at night and in deserted areas.
- Have a safety word or phrase. This is a word or phrase that you can use to signal to a friend or family member that you are in danger. They can then call the police or come to your aid.
- Keep a record of abuse. If your partner is abusive, keep a record of the abuse. This could include writing down dates and times of incidents, taking pictures of injuries, and saving threatening messages. This record can be helpful if you need to file a police report or seek a restraining order.
If You Are in Immediate Danger
- Call 911. If you are in immediate danger, call 911. The police can respond to your location and help you get to safety.
- Go to a safe place. If you cannot call 911, go to a safe place. This could be a friend's house, family member's house, or domestic violence shelter.
Fiction Novel Considerations
If you are writing a fiction novel about a person leaving an abusive relationship with a narcissist, there are a few things you may want to consider:
- Why is the character leaving? What is the catalyst that finally gives them the courage to leave?
- What challenges does the character face? How does the narcissist try to stop them from leaving?
- How does the character stay safe? What resources do they have to help them?
- What is the character's ultimate goal? Do they want to start a new life? Get a divorce? Seek revenge?
It is also important to note that leaving an abusive relationship is never easy. It is a complex and often dangerous process.
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