Why are sex scenes in most books unrealistic?

Who wants real sex? I mean, seriously. First time sex is always a little awkward. Someone's foot always winds up in someone's face. Hands flutter into each other. Takes a while to get a good rhythm going with each other. It is fun. God yes, but seriously. Write a first experience down and then read it out loud. If you aren't one of the participants, it is dull stuff. Like watching golf. It is not sexy. It is not a turn on. It is certainly not visual and more often than not it breaks the Willful Suspension of Disbelief -- that last being why I never go for realism. 

Yes, yes, it is unrealistic and be as critical as you would like, but it is a turn on. If you are going to have a sex scene that doesn't turn the reader on, I would ask, WHY? Why bother. First off, they are difficult to write, even for seasoned erotica writers. You mess up on them, they turn into a lurid low-budget snafu -- just add one wrong moment, or bad line. It takes some practice to get them down and a great deal of editing. 

Second, if the reader doesn't like sex scenes, she'll skim. If she does like them, she will feel cheated if he jumps out of bed to take a piss, doesn't flush and leaves the seat up, before running back to bed to try to get her warmed up again, but she's not really in the mood because she's thinking about the fouled toilet water... so, why bother?

 

Build Readership? or Finish the novel First?

This is just my opinion, but after a couple decades doing this, I would worry about finishing the novel first.

Marketing is a full time job, and you want to be a writer. So, Write.

Seriously. Get the novel done, beta read, edited, and then the cover completed.

Now, this is a fast easy way to get your novel going so you can get back to writing. Because that is what we do, we write novels, right?

1. Write three short stories that go with the novel. Each between 10k-15k words. Craft them with all the skills you have, and tie them directly to the novel you just finished.

2. As a cycle, putting out one short story every week, on Wednesday morning -- Go on to Amazon, e-publish one of those short stories. List them for $0.99 but use the Special pricing of FREE for the four days they will allow you. One per week, and in-between start mapping out and researching your next novel.

3.  At the end of the run, publish your novel at $3.99 on amazon, no free option.

4. Once your novel is up, go to SmashWords, and run the same schedule.

5. Then, write another novel.

Never read or reply to your reviews.

...just saying.

The only thing I would add is a blog, but only if  you are going to commit to posting something every day. That is where you can answer questions or comment if someone gives you an opinion on your novel. But if you aren't going to commit to a post every day, then don't do it. A dead blog is death to your marketing.

Look at the list of my activity over on the side of this blog. See those first two years? Three? Yeah... I had a huge problem getting a readership "Back". Most of my readers (the ones from the writing I've done under my own name) had come and gone, a long time ago. Since I was ghostwriting these series novels, I didn't really give this blog much thought. And I'm grateful that when I came back to it I didn't need to get a readership up in a hurry, because my readers are only just now beginning to trust me enough to trickle back in.

And thank you for the chance. 



#amwriting #writerslife #write

Your reviews don't matterDon't Read Them

Never read your own reviews. And, Never, Ever, EVER respond to them.

Here is a horror story of a man who couldn't follow these two simple rules.

You can skim the review. Go down to the Comments area, where the author answers -- and then replies to his answer -- and then replies to his reply -- and then throws caution to the wind and replies to that reply... Finally a third party offers an opinion and the author spirals completely out of control -- now arguing with himself, and the newcomer at the same time. More voices enter into this rising storm -- and it is like a car wreck with a body on the road -- you're horrified but you can't look away.

Then some people try to offer comments to the Author of the Review Post, and it is like Greek Fire across the deck!

... and then … it just gets amazingly weird after that.

Bad Author! No Biscuit!

Now, a success story, of a woman who doesn't have good mechanics, but doesn't let that stop her, and she doesn't read or reply to her reviews.

She just keeps writing and self publishing...

This novel is 613 pages when she publishes it. Between the covers there are Run-On sentences, which travel half-a-page -- horrible punctuation, terrible grammar, absolutely stuffed with unrequired verbiage, l o n g d e s c r i p t i o n s of getting dressed in the morning, repeated use of tedious responses, frequent use of adverb-adjusted dialog tags.

However!

Perfect storytelling, brilliant awareness of reader, characterization so strong readers frequently forget the MCs are not real -- deep emotional connection, excellent use of dialog, impassioned sexual encounters, lively engaging secondary characters, believable interactions, thoroughly entertaining.

Good Reads 22,105 reviews on one title

... nice following eh?

4.50+ rating

Amazon (Indie Published on Kindle) 396 reviews 4.5 rating

Then she is picked up for Traditional Publishing by Forever Publishing

It's like Cinderella! Or Dorthy arriving in the Emerald City!

Her book is edited by inhouse editors, and republished at 562 pages (a little leaner, and healthier -- probably just liposuctioned the 50 extra pounds of adjectives from around the thighs) A new cover with sexy people is pressed to the flesh, and then it is sent off to the Ball!

Achieves Adoration from Editorial Reviews on reprinting -- just look at the Amazon page.

Author Name: Kristen Ashley

Title : Sweet Dreams (Colorado Mountain Book 2) I believe this is her 20th book.

http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/11227040-sweet-dreams


She Never responds, or even reads her reviews... which is good because she would probably stop writing -- there are some brutal people out there.

Never read or respond to reviews. They do not matter.

Subtext, Subtlety, and Clarity in Description

Most of the time we don't want to be overt with our descriptions of the inner world of our characters. Character flaws are always better when they are demonstrated a few times before we name them, or discuss them in dialog. We don't want to stop the story, for example, to point out:

"Bob was tormented by nightmares, caused by sleep apnea, both of which keep sleep from being rejuvenating. His denial of the importance of either condition causes him to suffer from memory lapses, lack of attention and depression."

Outlines vs. MindMapping

I was asked yesterday if I outlined my stories, and no, I really don't. However I do use the mind-mapping tools extensively.

(Within Me the Other bleeds -- map using FreeMind format)

On my laptop I use Freemind, as well as Mindjet MindManager Pro. On my iPad I am currently using MindMeister, because it was the best one I have found so far.

When I say “best” however, this is a very subjective recommendation.There are some mind-mapping programs out there which are very well made, and easy to use, but I don't like them. Can't really tell you why, but it has something to do with noticing them... I want to focus on my projects and ideas, not the mind-mapping program.