About Us
Glenn Hefley lives in San Diego, CA. He writes freelance articles, specializing in ADHD, Leadership, Motivation and Health. Glenn Hefley also has extensive experience with System Administration, Database Administration, Technical Writing and Grants.
Other skills include Post-Click marketing using Google's Adwords, Analytics and A-Z Landing Page Testing to create profitable Internet Marketing Campaigns.
If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to contact him. When we allow our excuses to succeed, we allow our futures to be limited. Too often we believe that an excuse is temporary — that it excuses a current outcome, or temporary setback by illustrating a temporary limitation. Leadership Expert Christopher Avery, PhD, and Leaders such as Former Quarterback Steve Young, strongly disagree with this thought process. (more…)
Once, there was an old man, who sat on his front porch, watching the flood waters rise in his town. A boat came by and offered to help him to the aid station. He told the man in the boat that God had his back, and thus didn’t need any help from him. “Help someone who needs help.” He told the boat man.
The boat man went away, and the waters continued to rise. Eventually the old man was watching them rise from the second floor window. At this point another man in another boat arrived and urged the old man to get into the boat, informing him that the waters would continue to rise. “Help someone who needs your help.” The old man said, “God is looking out for me.”
After a time the boat man went away. The waters of the flood continued to rise. The old man was soon on his roof, hanging on to the chimney. It was then that a helicopter spotted him and rescuers urged him to put on the harness, and they could take him to safety. The flood waters, they told him, were going to continue to rise!
“Help someone who needs your help. I’m fine.” The old man told them. “God is looking out for me.”
After urging and urging, the helicopter flew off, helping others. The flood waters continued to rise. The old man drowned.
Up at the gates of Heaven, the old man stood, confused. St. Peter was trying to find his name in the book, and it wasn’t there. “I don’t understand.” Said the old man. “All through the flood I kept the faith.”
“Flood?” St. Peter asked, flipping the pages of the book to the back section, entitled Miracles. “I don’t understand either. We sent two boats and a helicopter.”
How many boats and helicopters have you sent away this week? How many times have you asked God, why he was not helping you?
Shallow People believe in luck. Wise and Strong people believe in cause and effect — Ralph Waldo Emerson
The Victim mentality asks in the morning “I wonder what is in store for me today.” instead of “What do I want to cause to happen today?”
Today, determine yourself as a Cause, and not an Effect.
We slip into the mentality of the victim so easily because the logic makes sense to us — the job lays us off, the boy friend cheats, the girl friend leaves, the taxes are raised, the house catches fire — and we respond to these events with the belief that something has happened to us, rather than something has happened. Every event is an opportunity – and one of those opportunities is to be the victim of the event, rather than simply a witness of the event.
When the boy friend cheated, we can internalize this as us being the cause if we wish, but it will be a painful internalization for several reasons, the first and most painful being that we are trying to internalize something which doesn’t belong inside of us.
When the house caught fire, we can say that this happened to us, or to the house. Some people prefer to burn — sounds silly but it is true.
Be aware of what you decide to be. The opportunities available for every event are many — always more than three. Before you decide, make sure you are aware of at least three of those opportunities before you decide which you will grasp.
Criticizing Upper Management is tempting as a middle manager. Some middle managers and team leaders do this to make a bond with their crew. Making a bond with a victim mentality however is never an effective method of leadership. Such action sends three clear messages to the team:
These are not messages anyone wants to hear from a leader.
Two things are bad for the heart – running uphill and running down people. – Bernard Gimbel
Approaching the victim in someone else gives that person reason and excuse to remain a victim of the situation they are in. Bond instead with the their true selves, the self that is the Cause, the self that Acts on Purpose, and you will get from them their true value.
Victims can not be motivated. The victim mentality huddles together, instead of bonding together. They use others as shields, instead of extensions.
To lead is to see past the victim mentality and bond with the leader inside others.
