Everything you wanted to know about Turkey

It is a little amazing to find articles still being posted on the Internet that I wrote  years ago for some other website. Many of my articles were written for specific clients, rather than web sites, so there is no problem with rights or other legal issues. It is more of an interest to me regarding the longevity of some of my articles. For example, Everything you wanted to know about Turkey was written back in 2005, and it is still making its rounds of cooking web sites. This copy was found on the Like Cooking web site, and I know I didn’t write it for that particular web site, though it is probably owned by the same customer.  I also know that it is a new post for this year… reused material.

Everything is going to Kill Everybody!

If you want something to worry about, I can give you a whole book of things – the only catch is that you will be laughing so hard you won’t get to worry about any of them… until latter.

Everything is going to Kill Everybody is a book written by Robert Brockway, who has collected horrifying facts and stories about threats to global life, which are happening right now. This collection is seriously disturbing in description and demonstration of how precarious life on this planet really is, as long as humans are here.

Brockway is also amazingly funny. I laughed so hard during the first story about the Russian who saved us all from nuclear holocaust; I had to put the book down after I realized that the second story used the same primal humor juxtaposed against another horror concocted by intelligent humans. I knew I couldn’t handle another bout so soon. But after a break, I went right back to the book.

What is not funny is that after a bit of research to check Brockway’s claims, I discovered that, yes, we are, as a species, tremendously genocidal, and it has truly been a matter of precarious luck that we have survived this long. I give us another week at the rate we are concocting new ways to eradicate life.

So, seriously, check out the book, and you too will realize just how absurd theories like 2012 really are … when compared to the threat the farming industry already poses. 

The Hate of the Homeless

The California State Legislature has finally gotten around to addressing the attacks and  threats suffered by the homeless. This move is on the cusp of the [as the case of the burning alive of homeless man], and certainly a needed move.

I spent some time researching the number of attacks and other abuses rendered on the homeless population in California over the last five years. For this article I was planning on highlighting some of the more drastic encounters, in which the provocation for the attack was obviously against a homeless person (as a member of a population segment), rather than an attack on an individual person because of a personal dispute. It is not difficult to find large lists of these encounters in every major city of the state. It is also not difficult to find reports of attacks, which were at first ignored by the responding police units, simply because the victim was homeless.

On my way back from lunch, however, walking up Imperial Ave in San Diego, passing the Studio Fifteen building on 15th, I walked right into the middle of a perfect example.

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True That

‎”Some people remind me of the Sea Squirt, which finds a place it likes, attaches itself to a rock, and then eats its own brain so it won’t get bored doing the same thing in the same place for the rest of its life.”

“Anyone in particular you are thinking about?”

“My husband.”

“I’m your husband.”

“Surprised you remembered.”

“This is about the oral sex thing isn’t it? You are the one that said you wanted more honesty during the therapy sessions.”

“No, I understand that, it involves your two favorite things, sex and doing nothing.”

“True that.”

“My point exactly”

Fiction in 101 words © Glenn Hefley 2011

Family First

“Sure would be easier if Grandfather was dead.”

“Did you just wish our grandfather killed?”

“No. I just said it would be easier.”

“That’s horrible!”

“Why? It’s not like he’s more than money these days.”

“Jeffery! What has gotten into you? You can’t possibly be so cruel!”

“Why is that cruel? I am just being sensible. Besides, it’s no worse than killing your husband.”

“That’s got nothing to do with it!”

“You are saying that actual murder is better than wishing someone had passed away of natural causes?”

“He’s your grandfather!”

“Oh.”

“Besides, my husband was terrible.”

“In bed?”

“That too.”

Fiction in 101 words by Glenn Hefley © 2011